Have A Drink On Me

So I'm reading in the Toronto Star this morning the big kerfuffle about the Canadian Women's Hockey Team having a few drinks and smoking some cigars on the ice after their gold medal winning performance. What in God's name is the big deal?? Is it that women shouldn't be showing themselves doing such degrading things as drinking and smoking? It's called a celebration for Christ's sakes! Teams from all over the world celebrate in the same manner after winning a majour championship. Is it that they went back out on the ice instead of celebrating behind closed dressing room doors? THE PLACE WAS EMPTY!!!! Only photographers and journalists were there, no public. The same photographers and journalists would be in the dressing room if the team decided to celebrate there. Is it that one or two of the players were 18 where the legal drinking age in BC is 19? This is the one I have the biggest problem with!! How many times have we seen Stanley Cup winners, World Series winners, NBA Champions swigging champagne in their dressing rooms after a championship win? Most of those championships happen in the U.S.A., where the legal drinking age, in most places, is 21. Do you not think some of those players were below the legal drinking age? Of fucking course they were!!! Yet not one word about it. I say bravo to the women of the rink. They fought hard, they won an Olympic gold medal. They deserve to have some fun. Have a drink on me, ladies!!

Tuesday Movie Reviews

Where The Wild Things Are
Starring: Max Records, Catherine Keener and the voices of James Gandolfini, Paul Dano, Catherine O'Hara, Forest Whitaker and Chris Cooper
Directed By Spike Jonze

I was never privileged enough to read (or have read to) the story of Where The Wild Things Are as a child. I feel if I did, I would have enjoyed this movie a little more. Not to say I didn't enjoy it...but I was a little confused. Is the land Max goes to real? Did he fall asleep at the water's edge and dream of this land? Does it matter? Not really. Spike Jonze creates a fantastic looking world with wonderful creatures that, thank God, were not created with computers. The story plays along with obvious parallels to Max's home life, but what was really interesting was the combination of music and joyous fun that Max and the Wild Things were having. I felt the movie could have been a little longer to develop the relationships a bit better, but I still enjoyed my time in the land of the Wild Things. If you have fond memories of this story, as I'm told many do, I do suggest watching this film.

GRADE: B

2012
Starring: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, Oliver Platt and Woody Harrelson
Directed by Roland Emmerich

Special effects is the obvious attraction to this movie which hypothesizes about the end of the world come Dec. 21, 2012. I have to say, some of the effects were quite impressive. That does not excuse the writing!! Oh my God!! Horrid...terrible...laughable. Do we really need comic relief as billions of people perish the world over? The situations that our heroes find themselves in are ridiculous. How many times can they narrowly escape a huge crack in the ground, falling bridges, falling buildings, fireballs, boulders, tidal waves...MOUNTAINS?!?!? Because of the absurd situations, the movie felt like it was going on for 150 days instead of 150 minutes. You will end up just rolling your eyes at much of the film (they have to keep updating the time of the impending impact of a giant tsunami, but when they do, they have it down to a millisecond!!), but enjoy the effects as they come. John Cusack can't help himself with the material he's given, but Ejiofor, a phenomenal actor, actually brings something real and almost graceful to his role.

GRADE: D

Best Sequels

So I'm surfing the web and I stumble across a couple of sites that list the top 25 sequels in movie history. I agreed with some and highly disagreed with others (Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban??? Really??). I thought I'd list my top ten, so here goes....

1. The Godfather, Part II
The first sequel to win Best Picture at the Academy Awards, is it better than the original? Maybe, but it's definitely just as good. Brilliant story telling, merging the story of a young Vito with the struggles of his son Michael. "It was you, Fredo. You broke my heart."

2. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Although not really a sequel (the movie was cut into two smaller features because who's gonna sit through a four hour movie anymore?), Uma Thurman's kick-assity was so much fun. The final showdown with David Carradine may have been quick, but was wholly satisfying.

3. The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars was a lot of fun to watch, but Empire is the best of the six. Great story, Han's a badass, and Darth is Luke's father. Totally dark and brooding, kind of like space itself.

4. The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
In my humble opinion, this is the only LOTR movie to see. The other two looked good, but dragged on and on. And you can make a case for that with the ending of Return Of The King, but getting there was hugely exciting.

5. The Road Warrior
Mad Max was a good movie, but dwelled a little too much on the emotions of Max with regards to his wife. The Road Warrior just let's it all hang out and is exciting from start to finish.

6. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Take a real badass in Arnie from the first movie and give him a new mission, include some of the best action scenes on film and crazy cool special effects...you got yourself a great follow-up!

7. Evil Dead 2
A lot of people think Army Of Darkness is the best of the Evil Dead trilogy. I disagree. Evil Dead 2 took the inventiveness of the first film and added some great humour to make it the best. Army Of Darkness went just a little too far.

8. Aliens
The first Alien movie had me scared of outer space beings. Aliens had me scared of Sigourney Weaver! Even though the kid was a little annoying at times, Weaver was Dirty Harry, John McClane and The Terminator rolled into one scary bitch!

9. The Bourne Ultimatum
I loved this third installment of the Bourne Trilogy. It was no nonsense, pure action throughout and kept me totally involved. Great excitement!

10. Rocky III
Yeah, that's right, I said it. I loved this hammy addition to the series. I saw this movie opening night in the theatre and it still remains the most fun I've ever had in a movie house. The crowd was right into it all along. When the Rocky III title came across the big screen with that music going the place cheered like I'd never heard before or since. So there!

Women's Hockey

So I'm wathcing the women's gold medal hockey game (Canada Vs. USA if you don't know - and if you don't know, shame on you) and I've come to a couple of realizations. By the way, Canada is up 2-0 after the first period. Yeah.
First of all, the game is really slow. I realize I may get a few nasty comments about this, but I'm comparing it to men's hockey. I know that all of these women could skate circle around me, even though I used to be a pretty good skater, but having watched men's hockey for the last 37 years, it's pretty noticable. Men's hockey is, at times, so quick that it's hard to follow the play. I'm not having that problem tonight.
Second, I've noticed that women are really bad at the one-timer. Now for those who aren't in the know, a one-timer is a shot off the pass - no stopping the puck first, just smacking it as it comes to you. I've seen a few missed one-timers in the first period alone, and it's a little bit aggrevating.
Third, the women are a bit "nice" around the net. One play had a US player screening the Canadian goalie. When the goalie made the save, the American player fell on her. The goalie started to smack the American a little with her blocker, but the defense was almost helping the American up off the ice! In men's hockey, that American player would have a stick in her throat and another to the side of the head.
Now, as I'm writing this, I'm watching the second period go on, and I have to say the Canadian goalie is AMAZING!! I guess I just have to watch more women's hockey to get used to the pace. By the way, why are the women not allowed to bodycheck? These all seem like pretty tough girls, I think they could handle it. And why do they all have to wear full masks? I'm sure if they got a puck in the face they could take the pain. Christ, women go through the agony of childbirth, surely they can take a frozen rubber disc to the nose.

Anyway....GO CANADA GO!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday Movie Reviews

So I'm thinking that, as a service for those who give a shit, I'll review some of the movies that release every Tuesday. I won't be reviewing all of them as I only get to watch 3 or 4 in a weekend, and I have to stress this is my opinion only!! I am not a professional...although I play one in the store.
By the way, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. So if you don't want to know important plot turns, maybe stop reading here.



The Informant
Starring: Matt Damon and Scott Bakula
Directed by Steven Soderbergh

As I watched The Informant I kept thinking to myself "this is not the movie I thought it was going to be". Turns out I was very happy about that thought. What looks like a bit of a goofy comedy from the trailers, this movie turns out to be one of the best black comedies I've seen in ages. Matt Damon does a great job as Mark Whitacre, a guy who can't stop lying to better his position in life. The funny thing is, he seems to have no idea he's lying...he truly believes everything he says. Through this, he leads a couple of FBI agents on a wild goose chase with regards to price fixing in the agriculture market. Damon fully engrosses himself in the role, going as far to gain some weight to look the role of a pudgy schlub. I laughed out loud many times throughout the film. The movie is based on real events, and to learn that the screenplay stays quite accurate to what happened makes the movie that much more appealing!

GRADE: A




The Box
Starring: James Marsden, Cameron Diaz and Frank Langella
Directed by Richard Kelly

The concept from the trailers makes one think that The Box is all about moral choices. Push this mysterious button and you'll get a million dollars, but someone in the world that you don't know will die. Ok...seems interesting. I know I'd push the button in a New York Minute! But this lead in has little to do with what transpires for the next hour and a bit. What does happen is the writer/director, Richard Kelly, loses his freakin' mind!!! Without giving too much away, some guy dies after getting hit by lightning, comes back to life after a martian...yes, martian...takes over his body, and now must test the human race. If that sounds weird, try watching it. The movie becomes a mismash of scenes that make no sense what-so-ever, plot lines that are totally forgotten about, and a Twin Peaks feels to the characters around the stars. Richard Kelly is responsible for the darkly funny, but confusing, Donnie Darko and one of the worst movies I've ever seen, Southland Tales. Well, he outdoes himself with The Box. It makes no sense at all and almost seems like an inside joke that you're way outside of. The performances are great either, as Cameron Diaz adopts an accent somewhere between New England and China!! And she looked terrible through most of the film, too. That may not be too important, but when the story goes crazy, at least it would have been nice to ogle Diaz.

GRADE: F


Motherhood
Starring: Uma Thurman, Anthony Edwards and Minnie Driver
Directed by Katherine Dieckmann

Unfunny comedy written by director Dieckmann who apparently hates being a woman, mother, and possibly, human! Uma Thurman plays a mother of two trying to plan her daughters sixth birthday in what turns out to be the most trying day of her life. I will give the movie this much, if the director wanted to create a feeling of exhaustion then she succeeded. Thurman runs, drives, bikes all over lower Manhattan to come up with the perfect party, all the while trying to write a 500 word piece about what motherhood means to her. Anthony Edwards in inconsequencial as the husband who, obviously, comes up with the right things to say at just the right time. Minnie Driver was enjoyable as the pregnant friend, but was hardly a factor in the plot either. Too much Uma can never be bad, but spouting out the words written by Dieckmann was real close. The kids weren't even all that cute!

GRADE: D-


Well, that's all I saw this week. Come back for more reviews...if you want...and let me know what you thought. (Of the movies, not me...or me...I don't care!)

Customers #1

So I'm working at Laureleaf and Steeles last night and a woman comes in asking for a movie to watch. I says "What kind of movie are you looking for?". She says "A good one.". Really? In over fifteen years working in the video rental business it has been very rare that someone comes to the store actually looking for a bad movie! Anyway, I ask her if she's seen the Academy Award nominated films we have; The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, District 9, Julie and Julia. She asks "Are they good?". No, of course not. Me and the Academy know nothing about good movie making!! It was pretty dead in the store (thanks to the Olympics) so I start walking her around the wall pointing out movies I liked with her turning down each one. She says she wants something that'll make her laugh finally. I suggest In The Loop, one of the funniest movies I've EVER seen. "No. I'm not into satire". We keep walking around and she stops at Couple's Retreat. She says "Is this funny?". Without a beat I says "NO! Very disappointing as I'm a fan of Vince Vaughn, but I didn't even snicker once.". Which movie does she rent??? Couple's Freakin' Retreat. WHY???? Why even ask and then totally ignore my recommendations and then rent something I say is no good??? I understand people have different tastes in movies, but don't ask my opinion if you just don't give a shit!

So I'm # 1

So I'm sitting in the living room thinking "I have things to say". What better way to get those thoughts across than starting a blog? Now I have no idea what to say....
I will say this, I am sick of Tiger Woods!! I watched the press conference this morning (it was my day off) and I have no idea why anybody cares that Tiger Woods stuck his manhood into women other than his wife. Why is this press worthy? Why did national networks break their normal broadcasting to show Tiger nearly cry and say he is the one responsible for his indiscretions? Of course he's responsible! But I don't care!! I want to see him play golf...and that's all. I saw one broadcaster in Boston say that she became a Tiger Woods hater when all this shit happened, but after his press conference she may watch him again. WHAT?!?!? Did she ever listen to Frank Sinatra? Did she ever think John F. Kennedy was a great president? Does she know if her favorite writer sleeps around on his/her wife/husband? If we start to judge our national heroes by what they do behind closed doors we wouldn't have any. These are people, real people, with a lot of money and influence. They make personal mistakes. BUT WHO CARES?!? Unless it affects me personally, Tiger, sleep with whoever you want...just start playing golf again soon.
Wow, I like ranting....