No Problem, Mon!

So I get back from Negril, Jamaica on Friday night and I'm welcomed with cold, torrential rain! Thanks, Mother Nature. I have to tell you that the terrible weather took away a little bit of my sheer joy I had thanks to my fantastic vacation in Negril. If you're looking for a vacation where all you want to do is lay on the beach, read a little, take a nap, drink and eat A LOT, and be entertained by some of the friendliest people you'll ever encounter, start saving you $$ and buy a week at The Grand Resort & Spa (formerly The Grand Lido). I've only been to three all-inclusive places (Cayo Coco, Cuba and Hualtuco, Mexico being the other two) and this joint is easily number one on the list.

Let's start with our arrival. It was a two hour bus ride to Negril from the airport in Montego Bay, so when we got to the resort I had to pee something awful. We are told to sit on the nice couch-type-seats in the lobby and give our itinerary to one of the staff. I got the wife to this as I went to empty my bladder. When I got back, I had a nice cold rum punch waiting for me (brought to my seat, not asked for). Two minutes later we were checked in and showed to our room. Other places had us line up for half an hour to check in. Our room was not huge, but nicely laid out, with a king size bed, a flat screen TV (with satellite receiving, we even watched Canadian shows on it!), a step down to a little couch and dresser, and french doors that opened up to a great view of the water (Atlantic Ocean or Caribbean Sea, I don't really know). We got settled, walked to the bar and started to drink a little. In a couple of hours we enjoyed our first buffet dinner and saw some live entertainment. Two notes here - first the food. The taste and quality of the food I've had at the previous two resorts I'd been to were, at best, ok. The food here was, in a word, unbelievable! From the breakfast and lunch buffets to the occasional dinner buffet to the a la carte restaurants I didn't have a bad meal in 7 days. Great variety, perfectly cooked and totally scrumptious! We even went to a Japanese restaurant that had the whole cook-at-the-grill-in-front-of-you deal, cooked by a Jamaican dude no less! It was great! Second note - the entertainment. Every night there was something going on in the main dinner area. The "house" band was phenomenal! They very apparently had played together for a very long time. The first singer we saw sounded like Eartha Kitt. She was fabulous. We also saw the coolest steel drum band from a local high school, and a staff/visitors talent show. I thoroughly enjoyed myself every night. The weather was gorgeous...32 degrees every day. It did rain a few days, but only for an hour or so in the afternoon, which was really a welcome relief. The staff were incredibly professional, friendly, often hilariously funny and attentive to your every need. This is the place to go, people. There were tons of things to do if you wanted to (watersports, volleyball, a gym, tennis, excursions) but my wife and I were very content with doing nothing! Actually, I was just looking forward to "sleeping in" til 9am. (I made it to 8:30 once).

Now, something that has now disturbed me and worries me. I was asked by no less than 30 different locals if I "smoked, mon". The first couple times I said yes, I smoke cigarettes, thinking they wanted to bum one off me. But no, they wanted to know if I liked "the ganja". The first time I was asked was by the porter at the airport that took our bags to the bus!! I was asked by the bus driver himself! I was asked by a few of the janitorial staff at the resort! I was getting a little bit sick of it, especially since nobody we talked to seemed to be asked nearly as much as I was. I thought maybe pot was legal in Jaimaica, but it ain't. I have absolutely no problem with people toking up, but it became a little bothersome. I began thinking it was a certain way I looked. Added to this thought is the fact that I've been "randomly selected" at airport security the last three times I've flown somewhere!! The first time was on my way to Florida in April. I got pat down from head to toe, checked for drug residue in my pockets and baseball cap no less. Then on the way to Jamaica we had one of our carry on bags rummaged through. Then coming home, in the Montego Bay airport, they had me open one of my suitcases so they could go through it. What the hell is up?!?!? Is it the goatee? Is it the clothes I wear? Is it my great physique???? (It can't be that one!!) Anyway, just thought you'd all like to know about the troubles I encounter in my life. It's weird, mon!