Tuesday Movie Reviews

Harry Brown
Starring: Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, David Bradley, Iain Glen, Ben Drew
Directed by Daniel Barber

Michael Caine plays Harry Brown, an elderly man who's wife is dying. He's lonely, and scared of everything...especially the young punks that cause havoc all around the apartment complex in which he lives. When his wife finally passes and his friend is murdered, Harry decides to do something about it. It's "Death Wish" for the 21st Century. Just like that classic from the mid-seventies, Harry Brown is gritty and violent. Caine is absolutely perfect in the role, particularly in the quiet moments. What upset me is the believability of the movie. Do they honestly want us to believe that a man in his seventies(?), who used to be a Marine, can still handle all that he does in the film? The character was totally out of his element and it was hard to get past. I liked portions of the movie (some very strong performances by the drugged out gun salesmen), but I couldn't get over that believability hurdle...as much as I tried. Still, worth a look for Caine's performance, which will probably get him a few votes at Oscar time.

GRADE: B-

Leslie, My Name Is Evil
Starring: Kristen Hager, Gregory Smith, Ryan Robbins, Kristin Adams, Don McKellar
Directed by Reginald Harkema

Taken from real life events, this film chronicles the fall of a young girl, Leslie Van Houten, and the obsession a young man has over her. Van Houten was one of Charlie's Girls, tried for murder during the Charles Manson trials. The young man, Perry, was one of her jurors. The film plays through both of their lives until they meet in court. She's a girl who feels slighted by her mother and rebels against the war in Vietnam. He's a church-loving, God-fearing Christian that's on the path of the straight and narrow. The film, believe it or not, is supposed to be a dark comedy...but it surely wasn't. It's the epitome of bad Canadian movie making, looking about as cheap as it probably was. Sure the director throws in some gimmicky shots, but it's all in an elaborate way to fool you into thinking this is something much better than it is. I did like Hager's portrayal of Leslie, but Robbins as Manson was totally miscast. He was worse than awful, as was Don McKellar's smug prosecutor. I was waiting for this film to get better, but it never did and left me wanting a whole lot more.

GRADE: D-

Tuesday Movie Reviews

The Back-Up Plan
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin, Michaela Watkins, Anthony Anderson, Linda Lavin, Tom Bosley, Robert Klein
Directed by Alan Poul

Jennifer Lopez plays a woman who can't find a man (??) and wants to have a baby. What's a girl to do but get artificially inseminated. That's her back-up plan, get it? As soon as the procedure is done, like 5 minutes later, destiny brings her together with the perfect mate. They fall for each other, she tells him she's pregnant, he balks, and they live happily ever after. I've just told you the movie, no surprises here. What is surprising is how utterly boring the film is. There are a couple of laughs, and I mean a couple, but everything plays out exactly like you'd think. This is colour by numbers people. We've seen this movie a thousand times. The only one like it that was somewhat entertaining was "Knocked Up" because the writer decided to write about real-life situations, not boring fantasy. It was nice to see Linda Lavin (TV's Alice) and Tom Bosley (Mr. C.) again. Actually, I thought Tom Bosley was dead, but what do I know. I was getting bored at the half hour mark and an hour into the film I started counting the hairs in my beard (I stopped at 347).

GRADE: D-

After Life
Starring: Christina Ricci, Liam Neeson, Justin Long, Chandler Canterbury
Directed by Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo

Ok, here's what I got out of this movie. Liam Neeson is a crazed serial killer who works as a mortician, and Christina Ricci has nice boobs. That's all! I just don't understand why screen writer's have to make things soooo complicated that the audience loses interest. Ricci apparently dies in a car crash. Neeson is the man who is preparing her body for the funeral, only Ricci wakes up and thinks she's still alive. Neeson tells her she's dead, that he has a special "gift" and is able to communicated with dead people to prepare them for the beyond. Ricci doesn't believe him at first, then takes his word for it, then doesn't believe him again. All the while her boyfriend, played by Long, is convinced she's still alive...for no good reason mind you. If that sounds even a little confusing, try watching it. Really the movie is just Neeson being creepy, Ricci walking around naked, and Long over-acting all his scenes. Completely a waste of time...except for Ricci walking around naked, did I mention that already?

GRADE: D-

$5 A Day
Starring: Alessandro Nivola, Christopher Walken, Amanda Peet, Sharon Stone, Dean Cain, Peter Coyote
Directed by Nigel Cole

Nivola plays a health inspector with some secrets. As a result, he loses his job and his girlfriend. He gets an urgent message from his father saying he's dying and needs to see him. His father, Walken, is a con man, so Nivola doesn't believe him at first, but goes anyway. Walken says he's dying of a brain tumor and has to go to Mexico for therapy. With nothing else going for him, Nivola goes along. So begins a road trip down memory lane that brings the two men together after years apart. What I liked about the film was the truth in the dialogue. We have a guy in his thirties who never had a good relationship with his father, and a man just trying to make things right. There are funny moments and highly dramatic ones as well, but the two men play off each other fairly well. Sharon Stone looks as though she had all her skin removed and had tanned leather put back in it's place. I can't believe how hot she used to be...not no more! I liked this movie, probably a little more than I ought to have. I guess I was in the mood. Walken is actually very good.

GRADE: B

The Square
Starring: David Roberts, Claire van der Boom, Joel Edgerton, Anthony Hayes
Directed by Nash Edgerton

This one is the sleeper of the week! A married man is having an affair with a married woman. Her husband has hidden a bag of cash in the house, which she finds. She tries to convince her lover to steal it so they can run off together. He hires someone to do the deed, and that's when things start to fall apart...in a big way. I can't get too much detailed in the story so as not to ruin what happens, but the whole film is very satisfying. It's an Australian "Blood Simple", one of my favourite Coen brothers films. There is a general feeling of doom and gloom, the darkness of the scenes, the monotone background music, everything about the movie makes the viewer know that something terrible is about to happen...and when it does, it's still a shock. Great performances by all, but David Roberts is a huge stand-out. He carries the film on his shoulders and everyone follows him. Great movie that I hope people won't overlook.

GRADE: A-

Some Things That Are Pissing Me Off!!

So I read the paper, watch the news, listen to news breaks on the radio and there are a few things that have been making me angry lately. Here are a few of them...
Rogers Cable - The brilliant minds that run this company recently decided to create a whole new sports station to their cable lineup called SportsNet One. In doing so, they have switched upwards of 20 Toronto Blue Jay games to this new network from the other SportsNet channels they have. If you are not a Rogers Cable subscriber, you cannot watch these games. Now, Rogers owns the Blue Jays as we all know. They have complained that the attendance at the games have not been where they want, and I've been to a few games this year where it looked as though there were less than 10,000 fans in the enormous Rogers Centre. Taking away games from people that subscribe to other cable companies is NOT going to drive attendance. In fact, it's very likely to do the opposite. I, for one, will continue to go to Jays games because I support the team. But I have read numerous letters to newspapers where people say they will NEVER go to a Jays game again. I gotta say, I don't blame 'em. If this is some sort of ploy to have people switch their cable companies, it ain't gonna work either. I have nothing subscribed to Rogers, no phone, no TV, no Internet. I can say I will NEVER switch! This is obviously a powerplay to have other cable networks (Bell, Cogico, etc.) to buy the Rogers SportsNet One and put it on their lineup. I sincerely hope they don't. At least I have a choice to switch, but did Rogers ever think of those places in Canada that don't have a choice. Believe it or not, Rogers Cable is not available everywhere. They have alienated all those people, and I hope they all boycott Rogers from here on in.

Stupid Studies - I saw a story on some Canadian news program, I think it was CBC, where a university conducted a study on obesity. Their conclusion was that people in countries that ride bikes or walk to work and other outings often seem to have less obese citizens than those countries that do that kind of stuff less often. REALLY!!! Did we need a study for this??? How much of taxpayer's money was spent on this crap?? Thousands??? MILLIONS??? They could have given me the money and I could have told them that! I always thought I was shedding off the pounds by getting my fat ass in my car and driving around all day. So glad I was told differently. Morons!!

Blockbuster Video - It really makes me crazy when people talk about things they know nothing about. It's OK to have an opinion, but if you're told something else, that seems to make sense, at least consider it. I have been a Store Manager at Blockbuster Video for nearly 8 years. As you all may know, Blockbuster Video is very likely filing for bankruptcy...IN THE STATES! This does not mean all Blockbusters everywhere are going out of business. The fact, FACT, is Blockbuster Canada is the most profitable adjunct of the Blockbuster family, and has been for many years. We made close to $50 million last year, and are expected to make more this year. If and when Blockbuster U.S. goes under, it will be even better for us. We have been lending them money to stop the bleeding for a while now. If they go under, we keep all our profits! Now, the name may be changed, we may be sold, but a company that makes $50 million a year doesn't just close it's doors. The Source operated stores in Canada for over a year without an owner, but someone finally bought them because they make money. Stores that are closing around your area is simply a part of the business. In the salad days of this industry, stores were everywhere, diluting the business. Closing stores only makes sense, bring everyone within a few miles of what used to be 4 stores into one. I'll ask you this...if Blockbuster did go under, where would you get your movies? NetFlix? Only if you've spent more money on your download capabilities and want to wait for your movie to start. On Demand? No special features, no commentaries, and a horrible selection of films. Illegal downloading? This, believe it or not is not as popular as some people have you believe...and you never know what you're gonna get (viruses and such). You, as a movie lover, should support your local Blockbuster, or even local store, 'cause once they're gone, they're gone for good. But I can tell you with 100% certainty, we're NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!! So if you do go into a Blockbuster Video, do not ask "What will you do when you go out of business?". Do not say "You guys won't be around long.". Do not poke the bears...don't be ignorant...rent your movies, say thank you and get the fuck out!!

we do appreciate your business......

Tuesday Movie Reviews

Gunless
Starring: Paul Gross, Sienna Guillory, Tyler Mane, Callum Keuth Rennie, Dustin Milligan, Graham Greene
Directed by William Phillips

I've never been a huge fan of the Western genre, although I love a few of them. I enjoy the rich characters, mostly with a secret hidden well in their past. Gunless has this in the character of The Montana Kid, an American outlaw on the run finding himself in the unfamiliar territory of Canada. He's a bad man, or at least he has come to think so. When he meets a small town of polite Canadians, none of whom have handguns, his world is turned upside down. He has "called out" the blacksmith for a duel at sundown, but he is a man of honour and will wait until an old gun is repaired for the blacksmith to use. In the meantime he becomes friendly with the townsfolk and a certain woman that has asked for a favour. The beauty of this film is in it's simplicity. It is a comedy, and every joke seems to work very well. The characters in town are just this side of quirky, but each one has something going for them. Paul Gross is great as the American cowboy, invoking a bit of Clint Eastwood and Paul Rudd into his character. I really enjoyed this movie, more than I ever would have thought. Easygoing and light, and completely satisfying.

GRADE: B+

Me And Orson Welles
Starring: Zac Efron, Claire Danes, Christian McKay, Ben Chaplin, Eddie Marsan, James Tupper
Directed by Richard Linklater

Richard Linklater has long been a favourite director of mine. He has done some real gems (Slacker, Dazed And Confused, Before Sunset, A Scanner Darkly) and a couple of duds (Bad News Bears). I find that he can tell a very good story while making his actors perhaps better than they are by giving them a "real" quality. This latest film is perhaps one of his best. A young man wants to be an actor, so he ditches school and heads to Broadway to try his luck. This is around 1937 or so. He happens to meet Orson Welles who is putting on an updated version of Julius Caesar at his Mercury Theatre. The boy says all the right things and is thrust into the play, in a small role, but with one of the biggest names in town. The story is about the boy's ups and downs, the boy played very adequately by Efron. The real treat of the movie is the performance given by McKay as Orson Welles. Not only does he look like a young Welles, but he IS Welles! His performance was remarkable. The film reminded of the times I was in theatre in high school...the anticipation of putting on a good show, the fear that went with it, the unparalleled joy of having everything come together for the premiere. All of this was captured beautifully by Linklater and the cast. If you have even a mild interest in theatre and/or Orson Welles, this is a must see.

GRADE: A

Cemetery Junction
Starring: Christian Cooke, Matthew Goode, Ralph Fiennes, Ricky Gervais, Jack Doolan, Emily Watson
Directed by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant

We find ourselves in the small town of Cemetery Junction in Britain circa 1973. Three friends, who have grown up together and have roused their share of trouble, are starting to look towards the future. One in particular, Freddie, played by Cooke, has decided to work for an insurance company instead of the steel mill that everybody else seems to work for. He wants to better himself, but he is often pulled back to the troublesome friends he loves. It's a coming of age story that works very well. There are moments of drama, perhaps melodrama, mixed with very funny scenes. A little romance sneaks in, and any movie that plays on the final scene from The Graduate is OK by me. The performances are good, especially Matthew Goode's, and Gervais makes a few scenes funnier then they should be. A real British delight that all can enjoy...if you're OK with the swearing that is.

GRADE: B+

The Assassin Next Door
Starring: Olga Kurylenko, Ninette Tayeb, Vladimir Friedman, Henry David
Directed by Danny Lerner

I saw this movie at the store and thought it looked like a cross between La Femme Nikita and Bound. After watching it, I was sort of right. Kurylenko, playing off her success as a Bond girl in Quantum Of Solace, finds herself in the company of some very bad men. She is forced into being a prostitute, but for some reason is trained as an assassin (we never really know how that comes about). She is doing this in order to one day be reunited with her estranged daughter. She finds a friend living next door to her that makes her temporarily forget all her problems. The friend has problems of her own, being an abused wife and all. The scenes that include the two women together are quite good actually. Tayeb, as Elinor, is very good indeed. But the action sequences are sub par and the story seems to run over itself too often. I understand what the director was going for, but he seems to lose interest half way through, which, obviously, made me lose interest. Too bad, because if this was strictly a dramatic tale without the high octane action sequences, it may have worked.

GRADE: C-

Tuesday Movie Reviews

Date Night
Starring: Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Mark Wahlberg, Common, Kristen Wiig, Mark Ruffalo, James Franco, Mila Kunis, Ray Liotta
Directed by Shawn Levy

How can a comedy with two of the funniest TV stars teaming up be anything but great?? Actually, that last statement was meant to be sarcastic....but it turns out Date Night was truly a treat to watch. Carell and Fey are a married couple in the burbs of New Jersey. They've fallen into the comfortable stage of their marriage where nothing seems exciting anymore and all is just routine. When they decide to let loose a little by going to a fancy new restaurant in Manhattan, all hell breaks loose. They're mistaken for another couple that has in their possession something a major mafia guy needs. You've seen the trailers, you know there are funny scenes that abound. What the trailers don't show you is a the amazing chemistry that Carell and Fey have. They are fantastically funny feeding off each other, and you know half their lines are ad-libbed. The story is actually quite believable and each scene moves along nicely. There were a few times when I rolled my eyes at the silliness of it all (car chase scene with cab was useless), but I was willing to let these few instances go because of the fun I was having. You have to watch the credits as well...very funny outtakes!

GRADE: B+

The Jonses
Starring: David Duchovny; Demi Moore, Amber Heard, Ben Hollingsworth, Glenne Headly, Gary Cole, Lauren Hutton
Directed by Derrick Borte

A beautiful couple and their two gorgeous kids move into an affluent neighborhood. The house is monstrous, the cars are hugely expensive and each of the family members start rolling out these wonderfully new gadgets...cell phones, lawnmowers, golf clubs, etc.. Everybody else on the block see these things and have to have them themselves. Within the rich community, everybody has to keep up with The Jonses. Only thing is, The Jonses are a fake family, salespeople brought together buy some huge company to sell their wares. Interesting concept, and it works fairly well for about 15 minutes. Then it all falls apart. The movie becomes a Movie Of The Week on NBC or something. All of a sudden one kid falls for a married man, the other comes out of the closet, the "wife" starts to have feelings for the "husband"...someone dies, someone gets drunk and drives...it's terrible. Writer /director Borte totally missed the mark on this film. It should have, and very easily could have, been a straight, balls-out comedy ala Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. As I was watching it all get so melodramatic, I could picture this movie being a great comedy. What a shame. Oh, and Lauren Hutton looked like she died weeks before the shoot and nobody told her...blech!

GRADE: D


Side note...I was going to watch the remake of Death At A Funeral with Chris Rock and Danny Glover, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Not only do I know I'd hate it, but it would have made me very angry as well. There is absolutely no reason to remake a movie that was released only three short years ago, that was absolutely hilarious, and great, and touching, and soooo British. Please see the original and stay away from the new one.

Tuesday Movie Reviews

Kick-Ass
Starring: Aaron Johnson, Nicolas Cage, Chloe Moretz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Mark Strong
Directed by Matthew Vaughn

Director Matthew Vaughn's first movie was Layer Cake, a great crime drama starring James Bond himself, Daniel Craig. It was a fast-paced, action-packed flick that was fun to watch. Kick-Ass tops that cult film! I had a great time watching this movie and I'll tell you why...it didn't take itself too seriously. This is a comic book movie for adult viewing (lots of killing and blood and swearing) and it makes you feel like a kid again, reading your first Spider-Man comic. The story revolves around a geeky teenager that wonders aloud why nobody has tried to help ordinary people on the streets, ala a superhero without the strange powers that most of them possess. He dons a costume, gets beaten to a pulp, and becomes an Internet sensation. Meanwhile, a father and daughter team have been practising their superhero routine, bent on avenging a mobster that was responsible for the death of their wife/mother. The three hook up and all hell breaks loose. The action sequences that follow are gory but lavish. The little girl, named Hit-Girl, played impressively by Chloe Moretz, has all the moves and the mouth to go with it. She reminded me a little of Natalie Portman in The Professional. Cage does a spot on impression of Adam West as Batman...hilarious! I can not think of a movie that I enjoyed so much from start to finish and I can't wait for the sequel.

GRADE: A

The Ghost Writer
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Olivia Williams, Kim Cattrall, Tom Wilkinson, Eli Wallach
Directed by Roman Polanski

This is the third time I've tried to write this review and for some reason it keeps erasing itself!!! So...good movie, watch it!!

GRADE: B+