Traffic....not the band!

So I'm driving down Pape Ave. the other day, heading back to the postal station after a long day's work and I get behind an 18-wheeler.  This was at Pape and Gerrard.  If you're familiar with this area you know that south of Gerrard there are cars always parked in the right lane, forcing everybody to drive in the left lane, until you get to the next traffic light.  This truck was heading south at a speed of, I kid you not, 15 km/h!!  FIFTEEN!!  I know this because I was stuck behind him with absolutely no place to go.  We get to Dundas and I think, ok, I'll head over to the right lane now and pass him....but no!  Someone was turning right and had to wait for pedestrians to cross, so I'm still stuck behind this 90 year old semi driver!!  I travel at this rate of speed until I get to Eastern where I'm finally able to pass him.  Not only me, but the twenty or so other vehicles that this moron had held hostage behind his truck.  Glaciers move at a faster rate of speed than this guy!!  All of this time I had behind him got me thinking about traffic and driving in this wonderful town of Toronto.

There are 75-million vehicles in Toronto.  Well, probably not that many, but it sometimes feels like it.  Most of the drivers on the road have been schooled in the ways of the road.  Drive at a safe speed, be courteous but not overly so, realize there are other drivers around you and act and react accordingly.  I truly believe most of the driving population know what they're doing.  But it's the bad drivers we all remember, and it's the bad drivers that make us all want to scream!  Here are some of the ridiculous things I see on a daily basis...see if you can relate:

The Un-Courteous Driver
The truck driver in my little story above is a prime example of this beast.  I'm not talking about the guy that won't let you merge, because being one car ahead is going to save him time and money, but instead, the people that think they are the only ones out on the road that day.  Without any consideration for the drivers around him, this jerk seemed completely content to watch grass grow driving down a busy street during Rush Hour.  What makes this guy think he's so special??  Is it total ignorance?  Is it just stupidity?  I personally feel its a deadly combination of both!  Someone could get so frustrated with this guy (someone like me) that they may do something even more stupid to get around him, possibly causing an accident, possibly smacking into a pedestrian that they just couldn't see.  And we see this all the time when someone is looking for a specific place that they've never been to before.  We watch them slow down to a crawl, peering out all their windows in a state of confusion, while they tie up traffic for miles behind them.  Here's what you do if you're confused as to where you're supposed to go: KEEP GOING, find a safe place to pull into or pull over, and figure it out!  Realize that you are NOT the only car on the road this day!!  Asshole!

The Long-Turner
This one makes me so crazy.  I actually drew a rudimentary diagram to help explain what I mean by this title:

So I'm the lovely yellow car, waiting patiently to make a left turn.  I see that the green car has their right signal on, telling me he's about to make a right turn...he's slowing down and everything.  With all the traffic cleared, I start to make my turn into the proper lane, only to have to stop short because idiot green car makes a long turn into my lane.  It's MY LANE!!  Turning into proper lanes was taught on, what, Day One of your drivers training class?!?!  Turn into your own damn lane and then come over to the other lane when it's clear.  The Long-Turner is either not paying attention to what's happening around him, or he's just an asshole!

The Late-Merger
I've mentioned this guy to many people in the past, and it continues to be the one driving practice that always baffles me and makes me rant like I was Donald Trump talking about Syrians.  This is the dude that comes onto a highway, takes the ramp at a good speed, sees that there is traffic and, even though others have given him space to merge, continues at the same rate of speed until he gets to the end of the merge lane.  He then, and only then, puts on his left signal, completely stops, bringing everybody that's near him to a stop, and slowly eases into traffic.  Well congratulations.  You're now four cars further ahead and have stopped everybody's progress.  I believe, and I don't know if it can be proven, that if people learned how to merge properly there would be less traffic, at least less stop-and-go.  Keep with the flow and stop making everybody else stop because of your inadequacy and stupidity, asshole!

The Giant-Truck-Turner
I've fashioned another wonderful diagram to help explain this one:

Again, I'm the yellow car, traveling down the left lane, bopping to Ozzy's Boneyard on Sirius.  Green car comes up beside me, wanting to make a right turn at the intersection, and drifts left before making the turn.  Green car is a Camry, or a Civic, or any other vehicle that is NOT a giant truck.  There is no need, ABSOLUTELY NO NEED, to drift left in order to turn right!!!  I can't even calculate how many times I've had to swerve or hit the brakes because I don't know what the hell this dude is going to do.  Is he making a lane change and just can't see me?  Is he having an aneurysm??  Nope, he just thinks he's a giant truck.  If you do this, just stop, 'cause you're an asshole!!

High-Beamers
I've also noticed something else a lot recently, and I'm not sure if its only me or not, so let me know if you encounter it.  At night I've noticed a great influx of drivers with their high beams on.  I was beginning to think my eyes were just too sensitive, but no, these people have their brights on driving on our city streets.  Do they not notice they're on, or, more disturbingly, do they put them on thinking they'll be able to see better??  I really hope it's total ignorance.  But if you're putting them on on purpose....you're an asshole!


Ok, I feel I've ranted enough about this.  If you have any other things that make you homicidal on our roads, I'd love to hear about them.  But, really, most of our traffic problems can be solved if people just stopped...being...ASSHOLES!!