Tuesday Movie Reviews

The Losers
Starring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Jason Patric
Directed by Sylvain White

Fun...just pure fun. That's the only way I can describe The Losers. I had no idea what to expect, but I like. The story revolves around five special forces soldiers all with a great ability to do something. They get double-crossed by some richer-than-God dude and have to make like they're dead. They then team up with a woman bent on vengeance and all hell breaks loose. Now, the story is waaaaayyy more convoluted than it needs to be. It doesn't really matter though. The characters and the actors that play them are the meat of the movie, along with some pretty looking action sequences. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who has been in dozens of other movies and TV shows, most notably The Watchmen, looks like a cross between George Clooney and Javier Bardem and played his role perfectly. Jason Patric was just this side of hamming it up, but the character seemed to call for that. Zoe Saldana is wicked hot...she looks so much better without all that blue paint from Avatar. This was The A-Team on an adrenaline rush and if you forget about the crosses, double-crosses and triple-crosses, or how little some of them make sense, you're in for a real treat.

GRADE: B+

Cop Out
Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, Seann William Scott, Jason Lee
Directed by Kevin Smith

I'll start by saying I never thought Tracy Morgan was funny. I think he is the biggest no-talent in Hollywood. I can't understand why people like him. After saying that, this movie is a perfect vehicle for him. It should show the world what I see. I didn't think that I'd like Cop Out from the commercials I saw for it. I had no idea how much I'd actually hate it!! From the opening sequence where Morgan is screaming his head off (yelling does not equal funny!!) and Willis is naming off all the movies that are referenced (give your audience a little bit of credit), to the outrageously unfunny dialogue, to the borrowed, but not quite exact, soundtrack from Beverly Hills Cop, this film was just one big mess. Kevin Smith is a very funny and talented writer and director. This was the first movie he directed without writing and he should have seen just how bad the script was. I've lost a ton of respect for him, but he can't be the only one to blame. Some would say this is an homage to the buddy cop flicks of the 1980's. I would tell those people to take their heads out of their asses and re-watch Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hrs and the like, 'cause this crap doesn't come close to measuring up. (by the way, count how many times they say the word "homage" in the movie...it's ridiculous!). Sean William Scott's character is totally useless and childish and the bad guy is awful. Please stay away from watching this film...I beg you.

GRADE: F

The Runaways
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Michael Shannon
Directed by Floria Sigismondi

This is the story of the first all-girl rock-punk group to hit it big in the 1970's, a group brought together by Joan Jett (played by Stewart) and headed by Cherie Currie (played by Fanning). They were a bunch of teenage girls that knew what they wanted, but couldn't really handle the fame and fortune and ended up breaking up after only a few years. Unlike most rock docu-dramas, The Runaways was a complete bore, but the performances were top notch. Stewart became Joan Jett, in all her manerisms. Fanning (who's all growed up) was her fantastic self as the young Currie, whose book the film is based off of. Michael Shannon was perfectly creepy as the man that brought the group together with dollar signs in his eyes. These three performances are worth a watch, but the story gets too bogged down in drugs, lesbianism and sterotypes, without giving very much depth to the actual rise of the band. Good for the acting, bad for everything else.

GRADE: C+