Tuesday Movie Reviews

Clash Of The Titans
Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton
Directed by Louis Leterrier

I remember seeing the original Clash Of The Titans many, many years ago. I loved the "cheese" factor of that movie....it was so bad it was good. The animation was mind-boggling for it's time and Medusa scared the crap out of me! This 21st Century update is not as memorable, yet it is exactly what I expected. Lots of action sequences, some hard to follow, but satisfying nonetheless. The special effects were well done and up to today's standards. The acting, if you can call it that, was just corny enough to make me smile at times. It is what it is, lots of money thrown at a subject that really isn't that interesting except for the digital stuff. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes try to bring a touch of class to the proceedings, but their performances just come across forced and one-dimensional. But as I said, all of it was what I expected, so I can't be too disappointed. The movie is two hours of wasted time with a pretty cool Kraken. With the original in 1981 leaving such an indelible image in my mind, I guess I hoped that this one would too, but I've already forgotten about it. Kids will like it, though.

GRADE: C+

Repo Men
Starring: Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Alice Braga, Liev Schrieber, RZA
Directed by Miguel Sapochnik

An interesting idea that loses it's cache very quickly and becomes boring and nonsensical. Jude Law and Forest Whitaker are two of the repo men from the title. Their job is to take back synthetic organs from people who have gone past due in their payments. They work for the company that supplies these organs to dying patients for phenomenal prices. That's the interesting part. Where the story falls apart is first in it's predictability. Obviously one of these guys is going to need an organ to stay alive, will be delinquent on the payment, and the other one will have to repossess it. What I really hated about the film, though, was the fact that this futuristic method of giving life and taking it back without any legal consequences was never explained. The legal and moral ramifications of such a transaction would never, EVER, let this kind of stuff exist. The movie was much more bloody than it had to be, and Alice Braga was sooooo annoying. They also gloss over a drug problem that these organ recipients seem to have, which could have turned into a decent subplot. The only thing I liked about the movie was that it was so obviously filmed in Toronto...I love seeing TTC trains on the big screen!

GRADE: D

Operation: Endgame
Starring: Rob Corddry, Ellen Barkin, Zach Galifianakis, Maggie Q, Ving Rhames, Jeffrey Tambor
Directed by Fouad Mikati

You ever see a movie and think "How the hell did this ever get made?"? Whenever I see a title that has some "name" actors but is directed by someone I've never heard of I think that someone had more money than they knew what to do with and wanted to "create" something. This movie falls into that category. I don't know who Fouad Mikati is, but he must know some rich people. A quick look on imdb.com tells me that this is the only thing he has ever done in the entertainment field. I truly hope it's the last. Every scene, and I mean EVERY SCENE, was painful to watch. Violence for the sake of violence, annoying characters with absolutely no purpose whatsoever, horrible "comedic" moments, and some of the worst pacing I've ever witnessed. I hated the entire film. The cool looking DVD cover will try to fool you, but do not be fooled...this is one crapfest!!

GRADE: F

Tuesday Movie Reviews

The Losers
Starring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Jason Patric
Directed by Sylvain White

Fun...just pure fun. That's the only way I can describe The Losers. I had no idea what to expect, but I like. The story revolves around five special forces soldiers all with a great ability to do something. They get double-crossed by some richer-than-God dude and have to make like they're dead. They then team up with a woman bent on vengeance and all hell breaks loose. Now, the story is waaaaayyy more convoluted than it needs to be. It doesn't really matter though. The characters and the actors that play them are the meat of the movie, along with some pretty looking action sequences. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who has been in dozens of other movies and TV shows, most notably The Watchmen, looks like a cross between George Clooney and Javier Bardem and played his role perfectly. Jason Patric was just this side of hamming it up, but the character seemed to call for that. Zoe Saldana is wicked hot...she looks so much better without all that blue paint from Avatar. This was The A-Team on an adrenaline rush and if you forget about the crosses, double-crosses and triple-crosses, or how little some of them make sense, you're in for a real treat.

GRADE: B+

Cop Out
Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, Seann William Scott, Jason Lee
Directed by Kevin Smith

I'll start by saying I never thought Tracy Morgan was funny. I think he is the biggest no-talent in Hollywood. I can't understand why people like him. After saying that, this movie is a perfect vehicle for him. It should show the world what I see. I didn't think that I'd like Cop Out from the commercials I saw for it. I had no idea how much I'd actually hate it!! From the opening sequence where Morgan is screaming his head off (yelling does not equal funny!!) and Willis is naming off all the movies that are referenced (give your audience a little bit of credit), to the outrageously unfunny dialogue, to the borrowed, but not quite exact, soundtrack from Beverly Hills Cop, this film was just one big mess. Kevin Smith is a very funny and talented writer and director. This was the first movie he directed without writing and he should have seen just how bad the script was. I've lost a ton of respect for him, but he can't be the only one to blame. Some would say this is an homage to the buddy cop flicks of the 1980's. I would tell those people to take their heads out of their asses and re-watch Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hrs and the like, 'cause this crap doesn't come close to measuring up. (by the way, count how many times they say the word "homage" in the movie...it's ridiculous!). Sean William Scott's character is totally useless and childish and the bad guy is awful. Please stay away from watching this film...I beg you.

GRADE: F

The Runaways
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Michael Shannon
Directed by Floria Sigismondi

This is the story of the first all-girl rock-punk group to hit it big in the 1970's, a group brought together by Joan Jett (played by Stewart) and headed by Cherie Currie (played by Fanning). They were a bunch of teenage girls that knew what they wanted, but couldn't really handle the fame and fortune and ended up breaking up after only a few years. Unlike most rock docu-dramas, The Runaways was a complete bore, but the performances were top notch. Stewart became Joan Jett, in all her manerisms. Fanning (who's all growed up) was her fantastic self as the young Currie, whose book the film is based off of. Michael Shannon was perfectly creepy as the man that brought the group together with dollar signs in his eyes. These three performances are worth a watch, but the story gets too bogged down in drugs, lesbianism and sterotypes, without giving very much depth to the actual rise of the band. Good for the acting, bad for everything else.

GRADE: C+

Tuesday Movie Reviews

The Bounty Hunter
Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Gerrard Butler, Jason Sudeikis, Christine Baranski
Directed by Andy Tennant

Director Andy Tennant, who has made such fluff as Hitch and Fool's Gold, has made another colour-by-numbers film that sounds like it could be fun, but is sooooo not! Gerrard Butler and Jennifer Aniston are a divorced couple. She's a journalist who has obstructed justice and must face a court hearing. He's an ex-cop bounty hunter. Can you see where this is going? The premise has been done a million times...they hate each other, there's lots of yelling and screaming and bandying about, then they come to love each other all over again. Fine, I can take seeing this movie again. What I can't take is the inane subplot that brings them to work with one another...something about a murder or non-suicide or gun smuggling or who the hell knows what. Gerrard Butler is not made for romantic comedies. He's not that great to look at (did he have a stroke at some point?) and I swear you could smell his b.o. through the screen. Aniston is there simply to be a skinnier, higher cheek boned Rachel Green. The chemistry between the two, if you can call it that, comes across incredibly forced. Oh, did I mention the absurd subplot??? I laughed, in spite of myself, at a couple of scenes, but all in all this is a movie that can easily be missed.

GRADE: D-

Greenberg
Starring: Ben Stiller, Greta Gerwig, Rhys Ifans, Jennifer Jason Leigh
Directed by Noah Baumbach

If you remember, about 5 years ago, came a little film that got a lot of buzz. It was called The Squid And The Whale and was written and directed by Noah Baumbach. It was a strange little film about family dysfunction, but it was real and quite funny at times. Baumbach's next film was Margot At The Wedding which I have to say ranks as one of the worst pieces of crap I have ever seen! It's quite evident Baumbach had a strange childhood. Well, somewhere in the middle we find Greenberg. Ben Stiller plays the lead character that has just been released from a mental hospital and must find something to do with his life. He's quite content doing absolutely nothing, or so he claims, but there is obviously something missing. He finds a little of that something in Greta Gerwig's character Florence. She's got issues of her own, but they seem to meld well. Here's the problem, Greenberg is not a nice guy. There really isn't anything redeeming about him. The movie plays along at a snail's pace and nothing really seems to happen. It's like looking into someone's boring life. Now, after saying that, Stiller does a pretty good job at the whole dramatic thing. In fact, the movie reminded me of a poor man's Punch-Drunk Love which starred another comic actor, Adam Sandler, in a dramatic role. Punch-Drunk Love, though, had a lot more to offer than Greenberg. Greta Gerwig was good, and Rhys Ifans was really good, but the story was so "nothing" that their performances got lost in the shuffle.

GRADE: C+

Our Family Wedding
Starring: America Ferrera, Forest Whitaker, Carlos Mencia, Lance Gross, Regina King
Directed by Rick Famuyima

I read the reviews on this movie after I watched it, and they were not good. It got totally panned! I really don't understand why. Certainly it's not original, and there were a couple of slapstick scenes that had no business being in the film (the goat???) but all-in-all I enjoyed the warm feeling I had watching it. This is the type of movie I imagine Tyler Perry doing (I've never seen a Tyler Perry movie). Two families, one African American and one Mexican American (how politically correct am I?), are forced together over the impending nuptials of their offspring. Some craziness ensues, and many off-coloured cheap shots, but everybody learns to love one another and become family. Ok, I agree, that doesn't sound so great, but the fabulously likeable America Ferrera makes you forget the bad writing. There are many lessons to be learned by all involved which I found a little corny, but a little sweet as well. The final wedding goes on for days, but it was nice to see this family enjoying themselves. I don't know, maybe I was in the mood for something brainless, but I don't think this movie should have received such a drubbing by the critics. Oh, and Eddie Murphy's brother is in it...I can't say why.

GRADE: B-

Tuesday Movie Reviews

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Starring: Michael Nyqvist, Noomi Rapace, Sven-Bertil Taube, Peter Haber
Directed by Niels Arden Oplev

The reviews for this movie were great when it was released in the theatres some months ago, but my favourite was something to the effect of "see this movie before the Americanized version screws with it!". Well, I have to agree with that! Based on the best selling novel (the first of three in a series), The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is exciting, fun, brutal and very well made. The story revolves around two unlikely souls coming together to solve a crime that happened almost 40 years prior. If you've read the book (one of the few times I did before I saw the movie) you know how explicit some of the descriptions were, especially revolving around rape and torture. Well the Swedes put it all in the movie for you to experience all over again. Nothing is held back, and at times I had to look the other way. But the scenes aren't at all gratuitous. These images were put in the film to delve deeper into the characters. I have to say I was just a bit disappointed at the exclusion of some plot lines that were in the book, and that's only because I loved the book so much. This movie is not for everyone...but if a little violence doesn't disturb you, you must see it. The two leads are perfect, exactly how I'd pictured them in my head. Noomi Rapace, a complete unknown to North American audiences, is Lisbeth Salander...there's no "acting" there. She became the character and is totally believable in every minuscule movement. I think the movie can stand on it's own as a great thriller and, in a rare occurrence, is just as good as the book it was adapted from.

GRADE: A


A Single Man
Starring: Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Matthew Good, Nicholas Hoult
Directed by Tom Ford

This was director/writer Tom Ford's first movie, and he will be a force to be reckoned with in the future. Every scene of this film is beautifully set up and executed. From the great colours (notice how images get brighter as the mood lightens) to the authentic set up of a 1960's lifestyle. Fabulous! Colin Firth plays the man of the title who is dealing with the accidental death of his young, gay lover many months ago. The story takes place over a 24 hour period and we see all the incredible lows and giddy highs that Firth's character goes through, including some very well placed flashbacks. Firth is, in a word, phenomenal! I though Jeff Bridges deserved his Oscar for Crazy Heart...until I watched this movie. Julianne Moore is just as good, but this is Firth's film. (Try saying that five times fast!). I have one problem with the movie, and it turns out to be a rather large problem...I hated the ending! Without giving anything away I felt the ending was a total cop-out, predictable and disappointing. I far rather would have liked to see the ending go the opposite way. After saying that, I still think this is a movie everyone needs to see.

GRADE: A-